A poem I made

Oh , how thy blaze astounds me.
A majestic flame dancing in the centre of its sacred mould
To protect its core.
Though it seems pure,
And its performance mesmerizing,
Don't be fooled.

When threatened, the graceful spirit is replaced by an almost
Demonic source.
Violently moving to and fro in order to protect its inner most being.
It has the power to inflict fear
Into people's hearts
And the ability to destroy
All it touches.

Watch the performance it creates,
Indeed do.
But do not witness what it
Hides from you.

I know

I believe in God, I mean you know he is pretty cool right? But sometimes I get worries and doubts.
I'm sitting in my room praying.......
God, are you there? Are you there god? are you listening?
Hey, God can you hear me? Are you even here?
Yeah, I know you are.

But God, God what about that time, that time when I was little, you know,
were you there then? God were you with me?
And as I got older and it hurt, it hurt so bad, did it hurt you too?
And when I cried, all those times I cried God, did you really know what each one meant? Every tear?
And sometimes, when I felt ok, but didn't think I should have, was that you comforting me God?
Yeah, I know it was.

God, you know when I spoke to those people, were you there?
Did you know how scared I was? How confused?
Was it because of you that when I felt all of those emotions building up inside me, at the same time I also felt peace?
Yeah, I know it was.

But God, can I trust you? I mean really trust you?
Are you sure your going to be there for me? because sometimes, sometimes God I feel that you're not, I feel that you're gone.
But then you come back, you come back stronger than before, you come back all guns blazing, you come back and you fill my heart with a passion, a passion for you and a passion.....for your people.

So i open my heart to you God, and i give my life to you, I put it in your hands for you to hold and care for.
But I get scared, what if i get hurt again? what if i get let down again? what if i end up on my own again?

But, hang on, how can I be alone again?
You gave me a new life, You gave me new friends, a new home, You gave me a new family and You gave me love.

But God, God do you actually love me?
Yeah, I guess I know that as well.

a look back

Back in October last year I posted a spoken word piece by Amena Brown. Recently I've read back over it and thought about what it actually means to me. When I read it, I get this image of an almighty God. He is bigger then we could ever imagine. He is so many things to so many people. He is all the things listed 'Father, Creator, Sustainer, Life changer, Pride breaker, He is truth, hope, love, strength, escape, rescue, safety' and loads more. His love reaches all people of every race, background, culture. He created all the earth and all living things in it. He heals the hurting, He gives hope to the hopeless and comfort all those who mourn. He cares for everyone regardless of whether they know Him or not. He is this great being and yet.... He still wants to take the time to get to know me, out of the billions of people on the earth that He could take His pick from, He says I want to know you, to know the little things that make you smile and that make you frown. He looks at me and no matter what I see, or what anyone else sees, He sees beauty. No matter what a mess my life is sometimes, He sees righteousness there.

In Psalm 139 v 7-12 it talks about how there is no where you can go to get away from God. No matter where you go He will be there. Whether in lightness or darkness, He is there. He is everywhere, looking for you, looking to bring His child back home.

Love After Love

Here's a poem we read in school today.

By Derek Walcott

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.


It's a poem about finding and accepting yourself and who you are. Also, it could be interpreted as if you've been buy for a long time doing things for other people and putting yourself aside, and then finally taking the time to acknowledge yourself.

I felt myself welling up whilst the teacher was reading it. In the first stanza, it's not just saying you will greet yourself, but that you will do it with elation. Meaning, you will come to like yourself with loads of happiness. You will be more than just content with yourself and who you are and also what you look like "in your own mirror". I can't imagine myself ever liking me that much. Even when I'm feeling on top of the world there is always something about myself that I put down. It also talks about taking the good stuff in your life and looking at it, thinking about it and says "feast on your life", "feast" is used to describe when eating food, but not just eating it, really enjoying it. So the poet is saying look at all the good things in your life and really enjoy them. This can be really hard to do, especially if you're feeling really rubbish, the good things can be hard to see. You know they're there but you just can't see them.

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. (Philippians 4:8)

A friend of mine is struggling with stuff at the moment and is finding it difficult to see anything positive in life. So I told her to make a list of all the people who care about her. All her friends and family and people she knows, and even those who she feels at this moment don't care, but deep down she knows they do. She came up with a bigger list than she first would have thought of. If we take the time to take note of the good things when they are visible, then we can look back over them when they seem invisible.

So go ahead...

"Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life"

Suffering

This is something i read.


This world is no stranger to suffering. The last one hundred years--which saw greater technological and medical advances than people living in previous centuries could ever have imagined--witnessed suffering, pain, and despair on a nearly inconceivable scale. Disease and sickness, earthquakes and other natural disasters, war and genocide, poverty and death--a stranger to Earth might be forgiven for concluding that suffering was the defining element of our world.

And suffering in its myriad varieties continues to this day, scaled to fit our everyday lives. We--and people we know and see around us--struggle daily against a world full of pain, a world full of hurts that seem to serve no purpose beyond inflicting misery. Some people struggle to feed and shelter their families; others to understand the loss of a loved one, to find the strength to keep standing beneath the weight of a terrible illness, to lift their eyes to heaven and demand an answer to the age-old question: "Why, God, why?"

I don't know what you're suffering. Maybe it's one of these horrors. Perhaps it's much more personal, more mundane. We each live unique lives with unique hurts, sharing in common an experience of a world that just doesn't seem to work like it should. Each of us suffers personally, in ways that no other person can understand.

Is there hope? Is there an answer to be found? There is, although we may not see it yet. In the meantime, this most important fact remains: we do not suffer alone. That is the promise of God. "... we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us" (Romans 8:17-8). "For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows" (2 Corinthians 1:5).

Breath Of Heaven (Mary's song)

Sometimes

Sometimes, it’s hard to be loved. It’s hard having people who care about you and care about what happens to you. So if you get hurt, it hurts them too.

Sometimes, it’s hard to be strong. It’s hard to keep smiling when all you want to do is cry. It’s hard to keep moving forward when all you want to do is turn and run away, to hide from the world.

Sometimes, it’s hard to see the good in your life. It’s hard to see all the wonderful things God has placed in your life. It’s hard to focus on the good and not the bad.

Sometimes, it’s hard to focus on now. It’s hard to move on from all the hurt in your life. It’s hard to forget. It’s hard to forgive. It’s hard to look to the future, instead of looking to the past.


But that’s just sometimes. What about the times when those things aren’t so hard?


Sometimes, being loved is the best thing in the world, knowing that no matter what, you have people who care about you, who are there for you, who will support you.

Sometimes, being strong comes easy. When using the strength of God in you, staying strong and
persevering with life doesn’t seem so much of a struggle and it becomes easier to face the world.

Sometimes, all the good things in your life are so evident, that you wonder what you did to deserve them all. You can see the true beauty of the things that you have. And when they’re staring you in the face and are just so amazingly overwhelming, how can you not concentrate on them?

Sometimes, all the other things are so great that they override the bad. Sometimes, you’re so busy loving the life you have now, that for those moments the past hurts don’t matter. Yes, sometimes it is hard to forgive and forget, but as time moves on it gets easier. As the bad is becoming overridden, and becomes to hurt less, it becomes easier to forgive, it may take a while, but eventually it will be possible. And although the memories are still there, they are thought about less and less, as more good things fill your life.



When the sometimes are hard, don’t focus on them. Instead focus of the other times. Focus on the sometimes that are easier, that are good.


Philippians 4:8
   And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. (NLT)

And maybe eventually, the good sometimes will happen more often.