You.
By: Amena J. Brown
You find me when I'm hiding behind all my disguises
You see me. It takes you to keep me, breathing
You are heart, Passion, Vision, Word Incision
You send me and you bring me close, Close, close, closer
Until when you look at me you see you
You are heavenly, My present and future destiny
You are Father, Creator, Sustainer, Life changer, Pride breaker
You are yesterday today and forever, You are pleasure
You are worth, Reason, Present in every season
You are worship, Devotion, You are the reason for all my commotion
You are the one that I pray to, You can tell that I'm nothing without you
So awesome that I can pray to you about you, To know you, To sense you
To believe you more, To love you more, To obey you more, To give you more of my heart
Oh God search me, Know me, See me, Examine me, Test me, Love me, Watch me, Protect me, Show me, Investigate me,
Be pleased with me, Question me, Keep me, Change me, Have me, Correct me, Take me, Help me, Create in me,
Break in on me, Be my reality, Sustain me, Decrease me, Decrease me, Decrease me, Decrease me,
Until there is no me left, Only you, Only you, Only you
You are light, Are true, Are you, Are hope, Are love, Are strength, Are escape, rescue, safe
You are peace, You are belief, You are advance and retreat, Of what, to what, to whom can I compare you?
You are my all things new, You are my place of refuge
You are my fortress, My rest, My creativity in the strength of your words to me
You are my ability to see, hear, feel, move, live, breathe, be,
You are life and death all at the same time
You are friend, You are believer, savior, redeemer
You are today tomorrow and the next day, And the next day, and the next day, and the next day
You are truth, You transcend old age and youth,
You are timeless, priceless, lightness in darkness, greatness, goodness, sinless
And in a mess like my life you see righteousness, You leave me speechless
You... alone.... are God.
Saturday, 6 October 2007
Wednesday, 8 August 2007
it got me thinking......
The upcoming showcase has got me thinking about i61 and why i go. Here's what i've come up with!
i61, church in a pub, what's that all about? Introduced to it by Cherie i came for for the first time, not really knowing what to expect, but having the image of the traditional church in my head, well....i was wrong about that! Everyone was so friendly, it was strange, strange because people wanted to know who i was, i wasn't just there, not being noticed, i was welcomed into it. I loved the worship (and still do!) it wasn't singing hymns from hymn books, it was modern and it was great. A new church for the new generation.
So why did i keep going? well, there was something different about it, and i don't just mean the music or the fact that it was in a pub, there was something else. So i kept going, getting to know more of the people who went, interacting more with the things that they were doing, and i loved it.
i61 isn't like the other churches, like, when someone has a problem in their lives, Steve and Gill don't just give them the Bible and tell them that they'll find the answers they need in there, they find the answers for them, they make it more personal, they connect with all the people. i61 reaches into the community, not to find the people who are already christians and have been for a long time, who go to church regularly and whose lives are great, no, they reach out to find the people who are lonely, who need guidance, who need to be told that they are loved, and they become their friend, they show them the way through things and tell them time and time again that they are loved by God.
i61 is more than just a church, it's a family, everyone cares about everyone else, and just like being part of a family, it's a great thing to belong to. I'm proud to say that i am a part of the greatest church around, and the greatest family too!!
i61, church in a pub, what's that all about? Introduced to it by Cherie i came for for the first time, not really knowing what to expect, but having the image of the traditional church in my head, well....i was wrong about that! Everyone was so friendly, it was strange, strange because people wanted to know who i was, i wasn't just there, not being noticed, i was welcomed into it. I loved the worship (and still do!) it wasn't singing hymns from hymn books, it was modern and it was great. A new church for the new generation.
So why did i keep going? well, there was something different about it, and i don't just mean the music or the fact that it was in a pub, there was something else. So i kept going, getting to know more of the people who went, interacting more with the things that they were doing, and i loved it.
i61 isn't like the other churches, like, when someone has a problem in their lives, Steve and Gill don't just give them the Bible and tell them that they'll find the answers they need in there, they find the answers for them, they make it more personal, they connect with all the people. i61 reaches into the community, not to find the people who are already christians and have been for a long time, who go to church regularly and whose lives are great, no, they reach out to find the people who are lonely, who need guidance, who need to be told that they are loved, and they become their friend, they show them the way through things and tell them time and time again that they are loved by God.
i61 is more than just a church, it's a family, everyone cares about everyone else, and just like being part of a family, it's a great thing to belong to. I'm proud to say that i am a part of the greatest church around, and the greatest family too!!
Tuesday, 7 August 2007
evolution of dance
why post this video, you may ask? the answer is simple, coz it made me laugh!! and every one can do with something to make them laugh now and again!
Saturday, 4 August 2007
Monday, 16 July 2007
Spree weekend
I was on a spree weekend thing this last friday, saturday and sunday. It was really good, and we had loadsa fun! Me, Jenna and Serena went majorly hyper on the cups of tea! (we came to the conclusion the old guy who was serving us was putting something in them!!)
We took part in a 'just for fun' talent show, and i think we were pretty good, do you agree?
We are definately looking forward to the next one!!
We took part in a 'just for fun' talent show, and i think we were pretty good, do you agree?
We are definately looking forward to the next one!!
Saturday, 7 July 2007
looking for responces
ok, so i was just wondering about people's responces to these, and would love to know what you think of them, just your first responce!
"Love is something better. I have been challenged and changed, reminded that love is that simple answer to so many of our hardest questions. Don Miller says we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding. I agree so greatly."
AND
"We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home."
AND
"We become her hospital and the possibility of healing fills our living room with life. It is unspoken and there are only a few of us, but we will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to meet her needs, to write love on her arms."
AND
"We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love."
"Love is something better. I have been challenged and changed, reminded that love is that simple answer to so many of our hardest questions. Don Miller says we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding. I agree so greatly."
AND
"We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home."
AND
"We become her hospital and the possibility of healing fills our living room with life. It is unspoken and there are only a few of us, but we will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to meet her needs, to write love on her arms."
AND
"We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love."
Friday, 29 June 2007
The mask i wear poem
I found this and in honour of the next daughters meeting i thought i would post it. It was written by a psychiatrist in Calafornia.
The Mask I Wear
Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear
For I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks-
masks that I'm afraid to take off
and none of them are me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature with me
but don't be fooled, for God's sake, don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure
That all is sunny and unruffled with me
within as well as without,
that confidence is my name
and coolness my game,
that the water's calm
and I'm in command,
and that I need no one.
But don't believe me. Please!
My surface may be smooth but my surface is my mask,
My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.
But I hide this.
I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weaknesses
and fear exposing them.
That's why I frantically create my masks
to hide behind.
They're nonchalant, sophisticated facades
to help me pretend,
To shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation,
my only salvation, and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
and if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself
from my own self-built prison walls
I dislike hiding, honestly
I dislike the superficial game I'm playing,
the superficial phony game.
I'd really like to be genuine and me.
But I need your help, your hand to hold
Even though my masks would tell you otherwise
That glance from you is the only thing that assures me
of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this.
I don't dare.
I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh
and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing,
that I'm just no good
and you will see this and reject me.
So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game
With a facade of assurance without,
And a trembling child within.
So begins the parade of masks,
The glittering but empty parade of masks,
and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that's nothing
and nothing of what's everything,
of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I'm saying
Please listen carefully and try to hear
what I'm not saying
Hear what I'd like to say
but what I can not say.
It will not be easy for you,
long felt inadequacies make my defenses strong.
The nearer you approach me
the blinder I may strike back.
Despite what books say of men, I am irrational;
I fight against the very thing that I cry out for.
you wonder who I am
you shouldn't
for I am everyman
and everywoman
who wears a mask.
Don't be fooled by me.
At least not by the mask I wear.
I really like this poem, it describes alot of how i feel.
The Mask I Wear
Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear
For I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks-
masks that I'm afraid to take off
and none of them are me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature with me
but don't be fooled, for God's sake, don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure
That all is sunny and unruffled with me
within as well as without,
that confidence is my name
and coolness my game,
that the water's calm
and I'm in command,
and that I need no one.
But don't believe me. Please!
My surface may be smooth but my surface is my mask,
My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.
But I hide this.
I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weaknesses
and fear exposing them.
That's why I frantically create my masks
to hide behind.
They're nonchalant, sophisticated facades
to help me pretend,
To shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation,
my only salvation, and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
and if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself
from my own self-built prison walls
I dislike hiding, honestly
I dislike the superficial game I'm playing,
the superficial phony game.
I'd really like to be genuine and me.
But I need your help, your hand to hold
Even though my masks would tell you otherwise
That glance from you is the only thing that assures me
of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this.
I don't dare.
I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh
and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing,
that I'm just no good
and you will see this and reject me.
So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game
With a facade of assurance without,
And a trembling child within.
So begins the parade of masks,
The glittering but empty parade of masks,
and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that's nothing
and nothing of what's everything,
of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I'm saying
Please listen carefully and try to hear
what I'm not saying
Hear what I'd like to say
but what I can not say.
It will not be easy for you,
long felt inadequacies make my defenses strong.
The nearer you approach me
the blinder I may strike back.
Despite what books say of men, I am irrational;
I fight against the very thing that I cry out for.
you wonder who I am
you shouldn't
for I am everyman
and everywoman
who wears a mask.
Don't be fooled by me.
At least not by the mask I wear.
I really like this poem, it describes alot of how i feel.
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